Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Randomize
