Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
