OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
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We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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