apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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