Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
