I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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