I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
