Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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