In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
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I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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