Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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