So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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