I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
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And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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