So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
