You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Say something about gay babies.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
