I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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