Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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