He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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