How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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