I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
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