idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
