I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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