i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
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