this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize