the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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