How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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