Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
