I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
