got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
