everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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