even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
