I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
