remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
