I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
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And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
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I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.