Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
You coming home soon, man?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.