I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?