I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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