i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
