This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize