That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
