i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
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My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
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Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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