omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
