Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
did i walk over a car last night?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
