you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
