I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
