Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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