My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize