This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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