yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you will always have a special place in my vag
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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