We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
