Porn is love you can see.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
