sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
