he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
