Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize