Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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