I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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