I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
