My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
